Interviewing &  Dating
By Fleming Ford, President, SHOREforce

So many times my clients are surprised and frustrated with a candidate that turns down a job offer.  After going through the expense and multiple, disappointing interviews, they are so thrilled to have found “THE ONE”.  So you can imagine they are simply shocked and even a little glum when the candidate declines the offer. This is when we talk about the rules of dating.

Now for some of you it may have been a while since you last experienced the dating scene and for others it may have been as recent as last night. Regardless, the truth remains, “playing it cool” is a critical part of the dating process. How about the date that asked if we could meet his parents when we just dipped our spoon into dessert or the lovely “gentleman” that assumed we must want him to hit on us, just because we sat at the bar he was holding up.  Let’s face it, desperation is never attractive, coming on too soon or too strong is a game changer.  It’s possible, those guys may have been amazing, but we’ll never know because our personal alarm was shoutingundefined“He must be a loser to be so desperate--WARNING, WARNING, ESCAPE NOW!”

Frequently, hiring managers have spent a lot of time and money to find a skilled, professional or simply a showered and sober candidate, so it is no surprise we can get a little over-excited to find a good one.  Dare I say it? WE too can come across as too desperate and so that our candidate thinks “WARNING, WARNING”.   They wonder, “Why is it so easy to get a job here?  Why do they want me so badly?”  So, my advice is to try “playing it cool”.   Be on time, be prepared, be interested, be friendly but most importantly, play a little hard to get, even if you have to fake it.  Remember, many Americans want what they can’t have (remember that guy that never looked your way??).

So next time you find yourself getting excited that you have found “THE ONE”, play hard to get and make them work for it!  That’s right, bring them back for a 2nd interview, and a 3rd, tell them you have other good candidates and it’s critical you make the best decision, ask challenging interview questions, make them wonder if they are good enough and by all means do not offer them the job before dessert!


Fleming Ford is the President of SHOREforce, which provides tools and training to Select, Hire, On-Board, Retain & Engage top talent. Give your managers the skills they need to build a top performance team.